Speed Trap
by J. B. Tilton
Summary: When Piper gets decides to fight a speeding ticket, she walks into the courtroom and finds bureaucracy demons at every turn.
1. Default Chapter

CHARMED "Speed Trap"  
by J. B. Tilton email:

Rating: G

Disclaimer: "Charmed" and all related characters and events are the property of the WB television network, except for those characters specifically created for this story. This is a work of fan fiction and no infringement of copyright is intended.

When Piper gets decides to fight a speeding ticket, she walks into the courtroom and finds bureaucracy demons at every turn.

ONE

Piper walked into the manor and slammed the door. She slammed it so hard the frame rattled. She threw her purse on the entryway table just as Phoebe and Leo came out of the living room.

"You okay?" Phoebe asked, concern in her voice.

"No," Piper nearly shouted, holding up a pink piece of paper. "I got a stupid speeding ticket in a town about ten miles south of San Francisco. I was picking up some of those melons you liked so much at the farm where they grow them. I decided to take a short cut and while I was passing through this town called Brewster, Barney Fife pulled me over and gave me a ticket. He claimed I was going fifty-seven in a thirty mile zone."

"So you got a ticket," Leo said. "I happen to know it's not the first time."

"No, it's not," said Piper. "But this time I wasn't speeding. The speed limit was thirty and just before the cop pulled me over I looked at the speedometer. I was doing exactly thirty miles an hour. It's a speed trap if you ask me."

"So what's the big deal?" Phoebe asked. "It's just a ticket. Pay the fine and forget about it."

"It's the principle of the thing," Piper said. "Besides, the fine is eight hundred ten dollars."

"Eight hundred dollars?" Phoebe questioned. "For a speeding ticket?"

'Seems a bit excessive to me," Leo said.

"Yeah," Piper said. "The cop said the fine was thirty dollars for every mile over the speed limit. Talk about a racket."

"What racket?" Cole asked, coming in the front door. "Hey, Piper. I didn't know you were back."

"I got home a few minutes ago," Piper said. "The racket I was talking about was a speed trap in a town called Brewster just south of San Francisco. I got a ticket today."

"So?" Cole questioned. "That's no big deal. Pay the fine and forget it."

"It's eight hundred dollars," Piper said.

"Eight hundred dollars?" Cole questioned. "How fast were you going?"

"The cop said he clocked me doing twenty-seven miles over the speed limit," Piper said. "I wasn't. I was doing the speed limit. There was no way I was going that fast."

"Well," Cole said, "unless you have some kind of proof, it's pretty hard to beat a ticket like that. Basically it comes down to your word against the cops' word. And he has the radar gun to back him up."

"Then his gun is broken," Piper said. "Cole, you're a lawyer. Can't you help me with this? Maybe get it dropped or something?"

"First of all," Cole said, "I'm an Assistant District Attorney, not a defense attorney. Second, I'm an ADA in San Francisco. This Brewster is in a different jurisdiction. I couldn't get it dropped even if I wanted to."

"Isn't there anything you can do for her, sweetie?" Phoebe asked, cuddling up to Cole. "It doesn't seem right that she should have to pay an outrageous fine like that especially since she's not guilty."

Cole looked at Phoebe. Then he looked at Piper. Finally, he sighed.

"Okay," he said finally, "I'll look into it. But I can't promise anything. Like I said, tickets like this are very hard to beat. I'll do what I can but you should bring your checkbook just in case. When are you supposed to go to court?"

"By next Friday," Piper said, smiling. "Thanks, Cole. I appreciate anything you can do to help."

"Just don't get your hopes up," Cole said. "I'll go down on Thursday and have a look around. Maybe I can find some extenuating circumstances we can use. There must be some angle we can exploit here."

"Spoken like a true lawyer," Leo said, smiling.

"Well," Cole said, "I am a lawyer. Don't worry about the ticket for now. There's nothing we can do about it until next Friday so just forget about it. We'll worry about it on Friday." 


	2. Chapter 2

TWO

Piper, Phoebe, and Leo walked into the courthouse in Brewster, California at nine thirty the next Friday. Cole had spent the entire day before in the town and had called them the night before. He said he had learned a few things and that they might just stand a chance fighting the ticket. As they walked into the courthouse, they saw Cole sitting on a bench outside one of the courtrooms looking over some papers.

"Well," asked Piper, walking up to him, "what did you find out?"

"I don't really have time to go into all of it here," Cole said. "Let's just say that you were right. This is definitely a speed trap. Piper, are you sure you want to go through with this? If we lose, you'll have to pay not only the fine, but also court costs and the officers' salary for the day. It could add up to quite a bit."

"I didn't do it," protested Piper. "I shouldn't be punished for something I didn't do. Are you sure you can beat this?"

"No, I'm not," said Cole. "But I think we do have a good shot. If you want me to I'll fight this for you. But you have to understand we could still lose. There are no guarantees in a courtroom."

"Just do your best," Piper said. "I know we can beat this."

"Okay," Cole said. "We're scheduled to appear before a Judge Lopez at ten. I saw Officer Morgan down the hall a little bit ago. He's the one who gave you the ticket. Piper, there's something else you need to know before we go into court. It could affect your decision to pursue this."

"What?" Phoebe asked before Piper could. "You make it sound serious."

"Well, it is, depending on your point of view," Cole said. "Piper, the entire court is comprised solely of bureaucracy demons. Including the officer who ticketed you."

"Bureaucracy demons?" Leo questioned. "Are you sure?"

Cole just looked at Leo with a look that said, "do you really have to ask".

"Oh, yeah," Leo said. "Stupid question. Sorry I asked."

"Where's Paige?" Cole asked. "I figured she'd be here for moral support."

"Glen's back in town," Piper said. "She didn't think this was such a big deal."

"Well, we probably won't need her," Cole said. "Now, when you testify, just answer the questions put to you. Keep your answers as brief as possible. Don't elaborate beyond what you're asked. The DA in there will do whatever he can to trip you up. Don't give him any opening to do that."

"I'm going to have to testify?" Piper asked.

"Of course," Cole said. "Don't worry. The DA will think this is an open and shut case. He won't press the issue very much. Once you're finished testifying, I'll go to work."

"Okay," Piper said. "I just hope you can stick it to these guys."

"I'll do my best," Cole promised, smiling at her. "I think I'm ready for them."

Confidently, the four went into the courtroom to wait for Pipers' case to be called. 


	3. Chapter 3

THREE

Officer Morgan sat on the witness stand. He had already been sworn in and the DA was getting ready to question him. Everyone in the room, except for Cole, Leo, and the girls were obviously demons. Even the spectators that sat in the back of the courtroom. All had some characteristic that identified them as other than human.

Piper was more than a bit uncomfortable. So many demons around and all she could do was sit at the defense table and watch. But these were bureaucracy demons. Unlike ordinary demons, they cared little for the fight between good and evil. Bureaucracy demons cared only for their paperwork. The DA approached the officer.

"Officer Morgan," the DA began. "Would you tell us in your own words what happened on the day in question?"

"It was just past noon," Morgan said. "I was coming off of Stapler Road just south of town. When I reached the intersection at Point Bluff Road a car sped past me on Point Bluff Road heading into town. I could tell it was moving well beyond the speed limit."

"What did you do then?" asked the DA.

"Well, I turned behind the car and began to follow it," Morgan continued. "As we got closer to town, I got out my radar gun to clock the cars' speed. The gun read fifty-seven miles per hour. Just about then we passed the city limit sign. There is a speed limit sign posted clearly on the city limit sign."

"What is the speed limit posted there?" the DA asked.

"Thirty," Morgan replied. "It's forty before you reach town. It changes to thirty at the city limit."

"What did you do then?" the DA asked.

"I pulled the car over," Morgan said. "The defendant was the only one in the car. I informed her that she was traveling well in excess of the posted speed limit and proceeded to write her a citation."

"What did she do?" the DA asked.

"She got belligerent," Morgan said. "She said she wasn't speeding and that I had no right to pull her over. When I informed her that the radar clocked her at fifty-seven, she said the gun must be broken."

"Was it broken?" asked the DA.

"No, sir, it wasn't," Morgan said. "I had just calibrated it that morning. It was in perfect working order. I clocked her doing fifty-seven in a thirty mile per hour zone. So I wrote her a citation."

"Is it possible you could have clocked the wrong vehicle?" asked the DA. "Maybe another vehicle that was on the road at the same time."

"No, sir," Morgan said. "We were the only two on the road at the time. I clocked he passing the city limit sign doing fifty-seven miles per hour."

"Thank you, Officer Morgan," the DA said. "Pass the witness."

"No questions at this time, your Honor," Cole said. "However, I reserve the right to recall this witness at a later time."

"Very well," replied the judge. "Officer Morgan you're dismissed."

Morgan stepped off the witness stand and just smiled smugly at Piper. It was clear he thought it was all but over. The DA stood up and faced the judge.

"Your Honor," he said, "I believe that is all I have. The prosecution rests."

"Mr. Turner," the judge said, turning to Cole, "you may present your case."

"Thank you, your Honor," Cole said. "I call Ms. Piper Halliwell to the stand."

Piper was sworn in and sat nervously in the witness seat. She didn't like being the center of attention in proceedings like this. She just hoped it would be over quickly.

"Piper," Cole said, smiling, "you've just heard Officer Morgan's testimony of the events of that day. Was his testimony accurate?"

"Most of it," Piper said. "All but the speeding part. I wasn't speeding."

"How do you know?" Cole asked.

"I had just looked at the speedometer on my car," Piper said. "It showed that I was traveling at thirty miles an hour. There's no way I was doing fifty-  
seven."

"Pass the witness," Cole said.

Piper couldn't believe it. That was all Cole was going to ask? Where was this brilliant defense he had promised? The DA stood up and walked up to the witness stand.

"Ms. Halliwell," the DA said. "Your testimony is that just before you were pulled over by Officer Morgan, you had looked at your speedometer."

"Yes," the Piper replied.

"That was very fortuitous, wasn't it?" asked the DA.

"Objection," Cole said.

"Sustained," said the judge.

"Ms. Halliwell," continued the DA, "is it possible you checked your speedometer earlier and just thought you had checked it just before entering the city limit?"

"No," Piper replied. "I checked it because I saw the speed limit sign. I checked to make sure I was going the speed limit. So I wouldn't get a ticket."

"I see," the DA. "How often do you have your car serviced?"

"I don't know," Piper said. "Whenever it needs it."

"Is it conceivable that your speedometer is not properly calibrated?" the DA asked. "That you're going faster or slower than what it shows?"

"Not by that much," Piper said.

"But you will concede it is possible that it's not properly calibrated?" asked the DA.

"I don't know," Piper said. "I'm not much of a mechanic."

"I'm sure," the DA said. "So all we have is your word that you were going the speed limit."

"That's right," Piper said. "I told you, I checked my speedometer just before I entered the city limit and I was doing the speed limit."

"Fine," said the DA. "So, let me just make sure I have this right. You claim you weren't speeding. With absolutely no corroborating proof whatsoever. While Officer Morgan stated you were traveling twenty-seven miles faster than the posted speed limit and has a properly calibrated radar gun to back up his claim. Is that about the size of things?"

Piper looked at Cole. He didn't seem worried. Piper was definitely worried. When it was put that way, she didn't see how she could possibly win. The judge would probably find her guilty.

"No further questions," the DA said.

"Mr. Turner," said the judge, "would you like to re-direct?"

"No, your Honor," Cole said. "I have no more questions for this witness."

"Ms. Halliwell," the judge said, turning to Piper, "you're excused."

Piper got up and stepped down from the witness stand. She just glared at Cole. He just smiled at her. A smile as if he didn't have a care in the world.

"Do something," Piper whispered as she took her seat next to him. "I looked like an idiot up there."

"Sit down and relax," Cole said. "Just watch and see why I'm such a good ADA."

Piper sat down and glanced back at Phoebe and Leo. They just smiled at her. But it was clear they felt as she did. She had lost the case. Piper just slumped down in the chair wondering if she had enough money in her account to pay all the fees and costs associated with this fiasco. 


	4. Chapter 4

FOUR

"Your Honor," Cole said, "the defense recalls Officer Morgan to the stand."

Everyone waited as Morgan reentered the courtroom and took his seat on the witness stand. The judge reminded him that was still under oath. Morgan turned and smiled at Cole.

"Officer Morgan," Cole said, removing a device from his briefcase and handing it to Morgan, "do you recognize this?"

"Yes," Morgan said. "It's the radar gun I use in patrol."

"For the record," said Cole, "the serial number matches the one issued to Officer Morgan."

Cole pulled a car battery off the floor and sat it on the table in front of him. He attached the radar gun to the battery.

"Mr. Turner," the judge said, "what are you doing?"

"Just a little demonstration, your Honor," Cole said.

He pointed the gun at the judge and pulled the trigger. All that was heard was a light click.

"Mr. Turner," the judge said, "I do not find your humor funny."

"My apologies, your Honor," Cole said, looking at the gun, "but according to this, you're moving at twenty-eight miles an hour. Officer Morgan, you testified that you calibrated this the morning you issued Ms. Halliwell her ticket."

"You must have messed with it," Morgan replied.

"Officer Morgan," Cole said, "I'm an officer of the court. Are you implying that I've tampered with evidence?"

"Uh, no, no," Morgan said. "I simply meant that, uh, well, it's a delicate piece of equipment. You probably knocked it out of whack bringing it in here."

"Fair enough," Cole said, putting the gun down. He pulled a photograph out of his briefcase. "Officer Morgan, can you identify the subject of this photograph?"

Morgan looked at the picture for a few moments.

"That's the city limit sign at the edge of town," Morgan said.

"The same sign where you clocked Ms. Halliwell speeding, is that correct?" Cole asked.

"Yes, that's correct," said Morgan.

"Did you happen to notice that the branches of the tree directly next to the sign have recently been cut back?" Cole asked.

"Maybe," Morgan said.

"Well," Cole said, "it would seem that the branches that were trimmed back would have directly covered the sign itself. Obscuring the speed limit sign. And it's possible that the branches were recently cut back to expose the sign more clearly.""

"I couldn't address that issue," Morgan said, smiling coyly, "I'm a cop. I'm not with the streets department."

"Of course," Cole said, pulling another picture out of his briefcase. "Now, can you identify the subject of this photograph?"

Morgan looked at the picture for a few moments.

"Yes," he said finally. "That's the area where Ms. Halliwell pulled over after entering town."

"That's where you issued the citation, is that correct?" Cole asked.

"Yes, it is," said Morgan.

"You're absolutely sure?" Cole asked. "There's no question in your mind that this is the exact location where you issued Ms. Halliwell her citation?"

"Your Honor," the DA said, standing up, "asked and answered. Can Mr. Turner please get on with it?"

"Mr. Turner," the judge said, "move along. You've already covered this testimony."

"Yes, your Honor," Cole said. "Officer Morgan, exactly where is the area where you issued Ms. Halliwell her citation?"

"Approximately three hundred yards inside town," Morgan said. "Just past the city limit sign."

"It's three hundred twelve yards to be exact," Cole said. "I measured it."

"Okay, fine," said Morgan.

Cole glanced over at the DA. Although somewhat perplexed at Cole's strategy, he didn't seem to be about to object.

Smiling, Cole walked back to the table where Piper sat. He pulled some folders out of his briefcase and began to shuffle through them. Everyone in the room sat patiently for several moments waiting to see what he would do.

"Mr. Turner," the judge said, "do you have anything else?"

"Yes, your Honor," Cole said, pulling a piece of paper out of one folder. "I move the case be dismissed and all charges dropped."

He stood smiling at the judge waiting for a ruling. 


	5. Chapter 5

FIVE

"On what grounds?" the DA demanded, jumping to his feet. "Mr. Turner has not offered the slightest indication that this case should be dismissed."

"Well, Mr. Turner?" questioned the judge.

"I offer into evidence this notarized affidavit, your Honor," Cole said, handing the piece of paper to the judge. "My grounds for dismissal are that Officer Morgan was not legally competent to issue the citation at the location where he issued it. Since it was outside the city limit of Brewster."

"That's crazy," Morgan said. "The picture clearly shows that it is. That sign has been there for nearly fifteen years. Ever since old man Tate left that parcel of land to the city. I put the sign up myself."

"He's right," said an older man in the spectator gallery. "I left it to the city in my will. After I died, it went to Brewster."

"That's right," Cole said, "but according to this affidavit from the county clerks' office, that parcel of land is located outside the official city limit of Brewster."

"Your Honor," the DA said, "everyone here knows quite well that Jessup Tate left that parcel of land to the city. It was added to the jurisdiction and all the maps were updated within a year of the addition. He lived there until the day he died."

"So I understand," Cole said. "Except that when Mr. Tate lived there, it was located outside the city limit. As I understand it, the city tried to annex it several times but he always refused the annexation. It was only after he died that he agreed to let the land be added to the city property."

"That's right," the judge said. "He said he liked living in the country even though his property line and the old city limit bordered each other. But it was added to the city property, Mr. Turner. Placing it within the city limit."

"Not according to that affidavit, your Honor," Cole said. "I had the county clerk do a thorough check of all city records for the last fifteen years. There is no record of that particular parcel of land ever having the title transferred from Mr. Tate's estate to the city of Brewster. And according to California state law, until the title transfer of a parcel of land is officially registered in the county clerk's office, the land legally and officially belongs to the estate of the person who willed it to the city."

"He's right," the judge said. "According to this affidavit, there was no official transfer of the title. Which means that Jessup's estate is still the legal owner of the property, not the municipality of Brewster."

"What does that mean?" Piper asked.

"Very simply," Cole said, smiling, "that as a police officer for the municipality of Brewster, California, Officer Morgan is empowered to enforce all laws within the limit of the city. But outside the city limit, he officially has no jurisdiction.

"In other words, he can't legally issue a citation to anyone. And according to the county records, the official city limit for Brewster is some seventeen yards farther up the road from where Officer Morgan issued his citation. Morgan was out of his jurisdiction. As such, the citation is not legal. I move for an immediate dismissal of this case and that all charges be dropped pursuant to California state law."

"Mr. District Attorney?" the judge asked, looking at the DA.

The DA simply threw up his hands and sat down, a disgusted look on his face.

"Case dismissed," the judge said, slamming his gavel on the bench.

"We won?" questioned Piper.

"We won," Cole repeated. 


	6. Chapter 6

SIX 

"I don't understand," Piper said as Cole began to put items back into his briefcase. "What just happened here?"

"Morgan is a cop for the city of Brewster," Cole explained. "As such, he can enforce any laws and write any tickets he wants inside the Brewster city limit. Outside the city limit, however, he has no authority whatsoever. He's just another ordinary citizen. Technically you were outside the city limit of Brewster when he stopped you and gave you the ticket. So the ticket isn't legal. And is unenforceable in a court of law."

"That's it?" asked Phoebe. "We can go home now?"

"That's it," Cole said. "The case has been dismissed and Piper is free to leave."

"Okay, hang on a second," Piper said. "If you knew all this yesterday when you called us, why didn't you just go to the DA and tell him? Have him drop the case? Why did you make me come all the way back here to sit through this if it wasn't legal in the first place?"

"Double jeopardy," Leo said, smiling.

"Exactly," Cole replied. "You see, if I had done that, they could always refile against you later. They might have actually found some loophole in the law that would allow them to prosecute you even though Morgan was technically outside his jurisdiction at the time. And believe me, as bureaucracy demons, that's the first thing they'd do. Start looking for some loophole to prosecute you with."

"And they can't do that now?" Phoebe asked.

"No," Cole said. "Once a trial starts, barring a mistrial, there can only be one of two outcomes. Guilty or not guilty. By dismissing in the middle of the trial as the judge did, it has the same affect as a not guilty verdict. Which means you can't be prosecuted again for the same offense. Double jeopardy."

"Pretty sneaky," Piper said.

"Not at all," said Cole. "It's a perfectly legitimate legal tactic. I've seen defense lawyers use it a hundred times. I just figured I'd use it here to keep you from having to go through this again. Excuse me a minute."

The court stenographer was just passing them.

"Excuse me, miss," Cole said, handing her a card. "When you've finished transcribing the proceedings, could you have a copy of it sent to my office, please?"

"Certainly, Mr. Turner," said the woman, after glancing at the card. "It should only be a couple of days."

"Thank you," Cole said.

"A trophy for your win?" asked Officer Morgan sarcastically.

"Not at all," Cole replied. "I thought the State Attorney General might find it interesting reading."

"State Attorney General?" questioned Morgan, who was now beginning to look nervous.

"Yes," Cole said. "You insinuated that I might have tampered with evidence while you were on the stand. I just thought I'd return the favor. I'm sure the State Attorney General would be interested in knowing that it's very possible that you deliberately miscalculated your radar gun so that it shows cars traveling faster than they are. Or that you might have committed perjury when you testified that Piper was breaking the speed limit. Or even that your speed limit sign appeared to have been deliberately placed so that the surrounding foliage obscured it enough so that motorists couldn't see it until it was too late.

"There's also the matter of your operating outside your jurisdiction for some fifteen years. Now, I grant you, that was probably just an honest mistake. But it does cast doubt on every case brought into this court in those fifteen years. I'm wondering how many guilty people might request another hearing based on the fact that you had no legal authority to issue any citations on that particular parcel of land."

Morgan didn't say a word. He simply turned and hurried as fast as he could from the courtroom, glancing back only once at Cole and the others.

"You really think that's all possible?" Leo asked.

"Probably not," Cole said. "There's no way to prove he deliberately miscalculated the radar gun. Which means we can't prove perjury on the stand. Or that the sign was placed where it would be obscured now that the tree has been trimmed back. But he doesn't know all that."

"Oh, that's mean," said Phoebe, laughing. "I wonder how long he'll worry about it before he realizes nothing is going to happen?"

"A while I imagine," Cole said. "Serves him right. Well, at least you're off the hook, Piper. I suggest we get out of here before they try to arrest us for jaywalking or something."

"I'm all for that," Piper said. "I hope I never hear the name Brewster again as long as I live."

They all went out to the parking lot for the drive home.

The End

If you've enjoyed this story, you can find more "Charmed" stories at my website, You can also post your own "Charmed" stories if you like to write fan fiction.


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